Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
