do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
