Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You smell like stripper and shame
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
