She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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