yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you never un-have a 4some
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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