So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
