I wish i was in the wii world.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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