plz talk dirty to me
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
