great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
