The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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