i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
