Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
