Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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