I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
