i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize