Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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