I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
