so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
