so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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