you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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