We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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