do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
