the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
