We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You can't just leave with hair like that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
