Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
