Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
