I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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