Just fell off a train. Bad.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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