SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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