shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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