this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
