Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
