So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
