I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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