how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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