This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
