Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
