I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
