help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
