And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
there was a trapeze. enough said
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
