did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
