her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
