you guys were way drunker than both of me
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize