Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How does one acquire holy water?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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