Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
