For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
