I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize