I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize