Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
