accomplished twins. life is a go
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
