He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
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