I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
