I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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