I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
