I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize