yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
