ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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