he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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