I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize