Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
