she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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