You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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