I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
