Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
