omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
