Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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