...so i touched it.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
