Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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