me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
