Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize