im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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