Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
