porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
