If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
