Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize