I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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