can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize