Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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