Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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