i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is the high leading the old right now
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize