He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
